there is a hero in everybody

http://itisfinnished.blogspot.com/

I'm doing nothing much except giving 3 tuition sessions a week and meeting up with people. I know that this time of doing nothing is truly precious and a good time to rest for me.. at the same time i'm feeling so.... mixed..

bear with me.. i just wanna 'verbalise' my thoughts

I seemed to have 'adhoc' things coming up to fill my time.. and after the sermon last sunday, i truly felt relieved.. the last major thing on my mind finally over.. i've been blessed.. i hope there are others who were also blessed by it..

so i'm slacking... and I'm thinking how better can i use my time..
some are having internships.. i am actually VERY disappointed that i didnt get an offer...
i should be reading.. books..
i should be brushing up.. in terms of my financial literacy..
and preparing somehow for sch tats starting soon..

surely i can do better..
the least i can do (after talking to people.. and ven esp).. is to figure out what i want to do after i graduate.. i know what i am passionate about,, i know what i am good at.. i know what i am not good at.. somehow i just lack the drive and direction.. Lord show me..
i dun wish to be rude.. but i'll be quite bu fu qi if i end up as a teacher

been talking to juls and dong and hearing stories of SEP..
i'm truly very excited.. and the many things i have to do will be worth it.. i'm sure..
but at the same time i'm concerned abt many things..
we are not poor.. but i know that even if my father doesnt admit it.. me going will put a major strain on the family finances..
wat if my experience wasnt as wonderful as others? as in.. my hopes are so high right now after listening to so many stories..
i dont wish to be disappointed..
wat if something terrible happens back home when i'm there..

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Lord take it all..
show me.. lead me.. help me.. guide me..
just call me.. and give me the courage and obedience to follow..

Whoo! was away the past few days at UMAD (yoUth mAke A Difference) camp held in church and i learnt many many things.. =) would like to share some things and thank some people.. and i will just go point by point .. in no particular order.. =)

1) Thank God for everything.. without You.. the camp would have no significance watsoever.. haha

2) Thanks Chai! i'm not gonna go into the details.. in case i make everyone cry again.. haha.. eh.. trust me.. watever i said at the end was really heartfelt.. and i was really led by the spirit to share.. and also to lead in the last song.. =) praise God for his amazing grace!

3) Thanks Stacy Bin Bings! loads of sacrifice.. and i believe that this experience of serving would have taught u guys many things.. have more confidence in ur abilities ok? =)

4) thanks main comm! i know many of u had a really tough time balancing umad with other committments.. thanks for all your efforts! it would be good to reflect on ur service? What would u do differently if u had another chance.. what did u learn.. and if u felt drained after this.. how come? did u try to accomplish everything by your own strength?

5) thanks sub comms.. a lot of behind the scenes work.. without you the camp couldnt have gone on as it did.. well done! look forward to continue serving in other areas after the camp ok?

6) well done worship teams.. for ur dedication and passion.. i was truly blessed.. jam sessions on Sunday! hahaha

7) thank u so much games comm.. the campers had loads of fun and fellowship and i believe that you truly accomplished ur objectives! Did u guys feel unappreciated or tat the comments were unfair after the debriefing sessions?? can i ask you to trust me when i say that the leaders appreciate your work and tat u exceeded our expectations? will talk to u guys more about this ok?

8) i learnt so much from the talks and discussion questions.. and i believe that the foundations laid to help us understand our Christian Identity in Christ will help us so so much in the days to come!

9) thanks Faithfulness.. i see so much potential and love in u guys.. and see how much u all have come in the past 1 year.. and i feel really touched and blessed.. continue to deepen ur love for God and one another!

10) thanks Nat, Zhi Kai and Servants! think tat u guys did a great job in trying to include everyone.. =) hope this experience has helped u guys (nat and ZK) grow and develop ur leadership and confidence.. and hope tat the members of the group had some lessons to take away! haha i was really encouraged to hear tat all of u would like to come for UMAD 7.. =)

11) thanks ven and byron.. things could have been so much more different..

12) thanks clement and jacelyn.. for being so brave.. for deciding to come back.. u guys really taught us so many things about how each and every youth matter in CYM... and how we should love and edify our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ... i am truly touched.. i'm so so so happy deep down.. and u know what? the angels are celebrating.. and i know that God is really happy as well~!!

13) thanks lin.. for ur sharing.. i think it mattered a lot to the person..

14) thanks for all those who contributed tirelessly without recognition or anyone knowing.. =) God sees! thanks again.. and we appreciate ur efforts!

15) thanks Parents! for trusting CYM in the discipling process of ur kids.. =) thanks for supporting us and challenging us all at the same time.. =)

16) thanks all Speakers! enough said.. without God's word being preached.. UMAD will just be another camp of fun and games.. haha how boring will tat be!

17) thanks CYM-ers .. i pray tat we can all undergo a continuous TRANSFORMATION to be ever more Christlike.. and have growing PASSION for God in our vibrant COMMUNITY.. being so sure of our Identity in Christ... this way.. we can surely make a difference~!

23 doesnt feel different from 22. =)
But i'm happy nevertheless.. i'm so blessed!

Thanks for the many many birthday wishes i received.. through SMSes.. facebook Wall msgs.. late nite phone calls.. msn offline msgs.. blog entries hugs.. handshakes.. early ones.. belated ones.. you guys are all really sweet!

Thanks for the many thoughtful and wonderful gifts, cards and cakes.. i love them all!

i feel so loved.. haha..

thanks everyone!

A year and a half ago.. i blogged about my terrible Sem 1 results.. and i said tat i'll praise God no matter what.. =)

I'm so glad that today i'm praising God coz He's slowing restoring my confidence.. hee.. even though its only a 3rd class honours CAP i'm achieving at the moment.. but its still far better than the 2.63 of the other time..

Thank You Lord! for putting people around me to help.. hee... Without Shixiu (and of coz EeYang and Qian Li)..  i would never have gotten a B for Software Engin.. thanks!! .. without my group (Ethan, Jun Hao, Run Yan, Shu Shan).. i would not have gotten a surprise A- for Human Factors.. Thanks everyone!! haha.. and i'm so glad i only got a C+ for probability.. and no need to da bao.. phew..

Yeah.. jiayou! 1 more sem before i'm heading to Finland!

Well several people have asked me wat does EECC means on my MSN nick. "Dont tell me u got back ur results so soon!" is their response.. haha..

EECC just means Eng Eng Ceng Ceng.. translated.. simply means i'm free.. heee.. and loving it.

I just finished watching Atonement, No Reservations and Ratatouille. Merrilyn and i met up for sushi at Thomsom plaza yesterday and i decided to enter VideoEzy to rent. Erms.. if u include Made of Honour that i caught with Merrilyn after our 'tea'.. that makes it 4 movies in 2 days?
Oh not to forget the 10 or so episodes of Bleach that i managed to catch up with... =)

It hasnt been all slacking actually.. The hols have been filled with other activities.. such as Worship Practices.. CG Retreat.. Wedding Planning (not mine).. giving tuition.. lets talk abt each one by one..

Worship Prac.. ok ok.. so there are many teams scheduled for UMAD.. and i'm supposed to guide 1 and lead 1.. but coz Yuan is in Europe.. and she arrow me.. i ended up with guiding 2 and leading 1. Time is running short.. and we're not at all ready.. haha.. but i'm sure we'll mange by God's grace!

CG Retreat.. was excellent this year.. =) my kids kinda auto pilot and gelled very well.. haha.. i mentioned this to them.. yes i trusted God with His plans.. but there is still the very human doubt when i am the one planning the programme and leading the bible study sessions and all.. Rita and Brenda weren't around this year.. thankfully Stacy were around (exception of 1 morning haha).. I remember the p6 days.. where Rita and I would lead Marvin.. Ben.. Hannah and Chloe in CG.. we were so miserable with 4 members.. then at last year's retreat.. we had Marcus and Alex joining us.. this year.. Timo and Linus as well.. haha.. i'm hoping retreat 09 we'll have 2 more! End of the day.. i must remember tat i'm not the Chief Discipler.. Less of me and more of You Lord! =) this is so so important.. considering tat i'll be away for 1/2 a year next year.. hope the CG can dig deep with their roots this year.. so tat even without me they can still continue to draw strength through spending time with God by themselves..

Wedding planning.. Anthony and Val are getting married in less than a month's time! and yuan and i have been asked to help with the planning... haha.. i guess its a good experience! adding to my list of Events planned.. =) but i think this is by far the most important.. coz no screw ups allowed! heee.. its kinda fun actually.. i wont go into details.. but feel free to approach me for advise when your turn comes! When will it be my turn hmmmm.. hahaha.. cheh..

Tuition.. okok so 3 students.. Marcel.. June and Ping.. All very guai.. =) Marcel is smart.. June is hardworking and Ping stays very near me.. haha..excellent u all.. have a good holiday!

the sense of anticipation for my SEP is killing me.. i cant wait to go through the hassel of shopping.. packing.. and running all the errands.. i cant wait to be on my 'own' (with 4 other friends).. i cant wait to feel snow beneath my feet and taste reindeer meat and see the Northern Lights.. oh my tian.. i cant wait.. I cant wait to know if i'll cry at the airport hahahah! i probably wont.. but i know i will definitely miss my family a lot.. i'll miss u dear! haha... but lets leave all this talk for december..

oh and did i mention i'm gonna get a MacBook? hee..

oh ya.. truly thank God and my parents for the (nearly) 23 years of life they gave me.. and did i mention tat i prefer something useful for my birthday? eeks.. =)

Quite an emotional entry...... So i managed to find some time away from my books to catch on my regular Time Magazine readings.. and i came across this Essay by Nancy Gibbs. Hopefully it'll help us all think about The Light of Death.


"
The Light of Death. We try not to look too closely. But the day i lost my father, i found the gifts that grief can bring

The Hogwarts Ghosts have a tradition i think worth borrowing. They celebrate their Deathday, a party marking the date they quit this mortal coil. If a child's birthday leans forwards - first steps, a bike, a license, the vote - a Deathday looks back at a life well lived and, for the lucky, well ended. It's a lovely spring morning as i write this, just as it was six years ago on the day i said goodbye to my father.

Most of us have a pretty good idea how we want to die: at home, at peace, quickly, with family, without pain. And at a ripe old age. But progress begets paradox: we've gotton so good at the last goal, it swallowed the others, so we live longer but die slower. Two out of three people die in hospitals or nursing homes, often alone, the process prolonged by a conspiracy of hope, fear, bureaucracy, inertia. When researchers not long ago interviewed family members of the recently deceased, half of them said their loved one did not get the support he or she needed at the end. There's a specter to haunt us, a death worth fearing, altogether different from the death we can embrace.

As my generation journeys into middle age, we talk about this quietly, live through our parents' passing and learn how little we know about the journey's end. Death will never be pretty - its sights and smells too close and crude. And it will never come under our control: it gallops where we tiptoe, rips up our routines, burns our very breath with its heat and sting. and yet while sorrow is certain, fear is not. "She had a very good death,"a friend says of her mother, and i have an idea if what she means and don't hear it as a shrug of denial or contradiction.

I asked a doctor friend what makes the difference, once the battle is out of her hands. "Fear," she said, "and regret. Take those away, and whats left is peace." Two weeks before my father died, he sat in the sun watching one of his granddaughters play soccer. three days before, as his strength visibly failed, three generations were able to come and be with him. The hospice angels made him comfortable. Neighbours brought pies; the pastor brought prayers. On Sunday night his granddaughters read him a bedtime story. My brother and husband took turns keeping watch. He did not wake up Monday morning and died the following afternoon, with his wife of 49 years and his children beside him. He ws 82.

How is it that the one event we know with absolute certainty will occur is still one we improvide? Do we lower our voices, dress in black, save a lock of hair as the Victorians did and wove into jewelry? Do you let young children see a corpse - the very word suddenly cold and empty because his flesh and blood no longer matter, his presence is gone? "Is that Grandpa?" our 4-year-old wondered. "No,honey," my husband told her. "He's not here anymore. That's just his body." She worked at this, how the arms that held her and the lap she sat in were no longer him. "You know how when we go to Florida, we leave our winter coats at home because we won't need them there? Well, he just left this behind because he doesn't need it anymore." And this appeared to make perfect sense to her, and she went to play, full of love and certainty, and we all took a walk in the watery light of late afternoon.

There are those - soldiers and nurses, poets and priests- for whom death is a sure companion. But most of us treat it as a notorious celebrity we watch from afar, fascinated but removed, until we have no choice, preferring myth to truth. Do we raise the odds of dying well if we pitch our tents within sight of the cemetery, feel the cold earth and vow to make a bucket list, make resolutions, make amends? Ten million people watch Professor Randy Pausch's Last Lecture on Youtube; see the shining dying man; and quietly promise themselves to shift out of neutral, stop being stupid about stupid things. I celebrate Daddy's Deathday for who he was and what he made us, a day when gratitude came to life.
"
Gibbs, Time May 5, 2008


The certainty of physical death, combined with the hope of eternal life. I believe that life on earth is a time of preparation for the long long duration of eternity. Looking at it in perspective, it wouldn't make sense to live these few decades that i have aimlessly right? So i make the following few promises to myself. I promise to love God, others and myself to the best of my ability. To grasp what really matters and never let go. To discover to learn and to pursue. To live life with passion. And hopefully at the end of my race, when i return to my Lord Jesus, those whom i've left behind can celebrate my life, and live theirs with hope and certainty like i did.

Now we just gotta beat them at the Bridge..

Moscow here we come!

YNWA!

I really should be working on my projects or studying for a quiz now.. but i've decided to take  break to just talk about Liverpool.. haha.. it seems its all i talk about nowadays here.. but i dun care.. hehe.. have to make full use of the little time i have k.. =)

We're through to the semis again!! 3rd time in 4 years, truly amazing record for Benitez.. strangely the team simply lifts itself for the big European nights. I must admit, i was taken aback by Rafa's decision to pick Crouch up front with Torres.. after all the team has all but settled into a familiar pattern, with Gerrard and Torres forming a wonderful partnership. I guess Crouchy did enough over the weekend to prove tat he is indeed big enough of a nuisance to the Arsenal defenders =) Early in the match.. Arsenal pressed hard.. and passed circles around the Liverpool players.. and when Diaby scored, i was thinking at the back of my head tat perhaps Rafa should have stuck to crowding the midfield with 5 men.

Ironically, it was the Gunners who fell to a set piece goal, Sami powering in a header off Almunia's left hand post after confusing Senderos.. the team's confidence picked up from there.. and they went from strength to strength.. finally settling down the nerves and began passing it around. The second half came about.. a few woos and wows came.. but Liverpool's 2nd changed the game. Who else, but Torres, flicked on by Crouch, turned quickly, picked his spot.. it was as if everyone around him in the penalty area was in slow motion.. seriously! u can see the goal coming.. =) excellent 29th goal.. perhaps one of the most important. Then 6 mins left, my hopes all but disappeared when Adebayor took Arsenal's 2nd away goal after Walcott sprinted from outside his own area.. Michael Owen style... But before i knew it.. Babel took on and cut in between 2 defenders.. somehow someone managed to fell him.. Stevie took the penalty beautifully.. .. Arsenal threw caution into the wind.. pressing on.. but a clearance by Kuyt was chased down by the pacy Babel.. and the bottom corner it went..

4-2 the final score... and perhaps you have read this from the papers or the internet.. but i just have to describe it all again! haha.. its my way of processing the emotions.. So up next is Chelsea.. again.. it'll be tight! but in Rafa and his merry men we trust..

Its been a season on ups and downs.. and i'm more than confident tat the team can put the off the field crap behind and improve even further...

Perhaps next season we'll have a shot at the title..

Perhaps next season, when i'm on exchange to Europe.., i'll be at Anfield..

PERHAPS!!! YNWA!


** just a footnote.... please settle the ownership matters quickly.. it hurts the team.. and it hurts the fans..

haha embedding this youtube video was disabled.. dunno y.. anyway...
click on the link! 10 min video of Torres' 28 goals so far... =)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aodfpOvyuxw

i'm not gonna hide the fact tat losing 3-0 to Man U the other nite hurts..
without question Man U were the worthy winners at Old Trafford..
Yes Liverpool were disappointing.. and Mascherano let his emotions run him into trouble..
but tats the way with football!

I'm no whiner when it comes to sports.. a loss is a loss.. and wat u do it put ur head down and work harder!

Fans stick with their team!.. and i really think the team is improving.. Sir Alex had many more years with the team and the fact that he managed to bring on 60 million pounds worth of subs to tighten the screw shows the quality of the team he has on his hands.. so well.. i'm not gonna be too upset.. and stick with my team.. =)

reasons to be optimistic:

Despite the couple of mistakes by Reina the other day.. he has been terrific this season.. excellent shot stopper.. penalty saver.. great distribution.. even though hes short compared to others.. i feel hes becoming one of the best in the league.. and hes not even in the prime GK age yet..

Strong central defence.. Carragher.. Agger (injured whole of this season) and Skrtel (who is looking solid.. but needs more time)..

Central Midfield... Alonso and Mascherano.. seriously.. Alonso has been injured most of the first half of the season.. and hasnt hit form.. but the passmaster and class.. and class doesnt go away so easily!.. Mascherano.. is becoming one of my favourite players.. rush of blood to his head and he let his team down.. but he will learn.. try to look beyond tat.. and you'll see the passion he has.. hes a winner.. he'll chase u to hell to win the ball back.. the fans love someone with heart!.. of coz.. marauding forward.. S. Gerrard.. enough said

Fernando Torres.. Legend in the making.. he'll only get better.. watch this space..

so the spine of the team is strong i feel.. and Babel is at the stage Ronaldo was when he first arrived.. adapting.. showing glimpses.. potential is there.. of coz the need for a real solid flank players is still present.. i personally like the inconsistent pennant.. benayoun is tricky and steals goals.. kuyt the striker who plays on the right works hard... but i feel that if Rafa had cash.. he'd love to get someone real solid..

well.. all i can do is wait and pray.. tat the team gels over time.. and go as far as possible in the Champions League.. of coz.. i'm gonna be bold and say.. It'll be great to meet Man U in the Champs League Final in May.. and beat them.. haha.. i'm sticking with the team

oh my gosh.. i'm feeling THANKFUL..

coz someone went out of his way to help..
coz he absolutely didnt have to..
coz he did it when i'm feeling a little helpless and sianz..
coz he did it without me asking..

i'm beginning to believe the power of connections..
or rather.. i'm a believer of God's will and amazing ability to put the right people at the right places at the right time to do the right things..

thanks uncle!

Praise God!
indeed he knows my hearts desire.. reminding me that He wants it more than me!

i was just telling somebody (forgot who) some time ago that i'm kinda concerned that my CG isnt growing (in numbers).. even cheekily complaining that it seems tat the 'harvesting' began one year late.. with the CG one year after mine..

but then came Timothy (last december)... and most amazingly.. Yi Cheng came for CG yesterday..(look at previous post).. to add to this.. Chai Hwa introduced Celina yesterday while we were having Bible Study (her parents just joined the church)..

looking back i feel so bad about my lack of faith.. .. but indeed God is faithful..

now... there is still much hard work to be done.. and i pray for strength and wisdom.. for me to be able to serve God by feeding His sheep.... but not forgetting that before Jesus asked Peter to feed His sheep.. Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him 3 times.. Relationship before Ministry.. please always pray for and remind me! =)

I'm strangely kinda sad.. the animal tat is synonymous with the Singapore Zoological Gardens has passed on.. Though she obviously has no connection with me, she was however a name i've heard of since i was a baby.. I googled.. and found this article.. heres my tribute to Ah Meng.. quoting wikipedia...:

Ah Meng (circa 18 June 1960 - 8 February 2008) was a famous female Sumatran Orangutan and a tourism icon of Singapore.

Ah Meng was recovered by a veterinarian from a local family in 1971, where she was kept illegally as a pet. The original owner had smuggled her back from a trip in Indonesia. She belonged to the Sumatran Orangutan species, a rarer breed of orangutan now critically endangered due to illegal logging and poaching. There are only about 7,500 Sumatran Orangutans left in the wild in the rain forests of Sumatra, Indonesia.

With her amicable behaviour and facial expressions, Ah Meng became popular and won many fans worldwide, leading to her becoming the poster girl of the Singapore Zoo. Pictures of her have been used in Singapore's tourism advertisements all over the globe. Ah Meng has been featured in more than 30 travel films, and has been written about in more than 300 articles.

Ah Meng interacted comfortably with humans, and she regularly shook hands and ate meals with visitors in the zoo's "Breakfast with an Orangutan" programme. Prince Philip of Britain and pop star Michael Jackson were but some of the many foreign dignitaries and celebrities numbered among Ah Meng's past guests. By allowing visitors to interact closely with Ah Meng and other orangutans, the Singapore Zoo aimed to raise public awareness of the importance of preserving the orangutan's natural habitat as well as other environmental issues.

Ah Meng was the head of her small clan, which lives in a large orangutan enclosure within the zoo with about twenty other orangutans. She had five children and became a grandmother for the first time in 1990. As she aged, her public appearances became less frequent for fear of subjecting her to too much pressure.

In 1992, the Singapore Tourism Board conferred Ah Meng a "Special Tourism Ambassador" award in recognition of her contribution to Singapore's tourism industry.

On Friday, 8th February 2008, the second day of the Chinese New Year, the national newspaper The Straits Times reported that "The Singapore Zoo's most famous and well-loved Orang Utan, Ah Meng has passed away on Friday due to old age. She was approximately 50 years old. ... Ah Meng leaves behind two sons Hsing Hsing, Satria, and two daughers, Medan and Sayang and six grandchildren."

heres the story..
she felt she didnt belong.. and hence left us..
i felt so bad at tat time.. and wats worst.. she kinda slipped from my mind after some time..
God had to remind me.. tat everyone is precious to Him..
i confessed.. i said sorry.. and i try my best to pray for them whenever i remember..

yup.. so of coz ... time goes by and i forgot wat i prayed about..but God didnt.. and i was reminded of how much He wants to draw all men to Himself..

was just talking to aunty Grace over dinner about how sad the situation was.. when she called to invite aunty Grace to her concert.. she got my number through Grace and msged me.. sure i was going.. wont miss it for anything!

u see.. she joined her school band.. oh man.. u wont imagine how proud i am... she was so shy and reserved.. (i think she still is)... but joining band gave me an idea how how much committment and dedication she has to put in.. i'm sure she has grown... physically definitely.. shes taller than 1+years ago haha..

i'm praying so so hard..

i wonder if Faithfulness CG misses this old friend as much as i do..
pls pray with me!

when chai hwa told me abt "Emo Night"..
i was like "WHAT?! they are only going to make each other more kan cheong!"

but i'm actually seriously quite 'proud' of them.. =)

see the O level results were out today.. and last nite.. Kindness 2 CG had an emo nite... tat wasnt particularly emo.. =)

dinner at the usual table for them.. crazy carousel ride.. then some came back to church to Worship.. Pray.. and encourage one another..

i'm so glad to have been able to contribute by playing the guitar for them..

nice one guys.. Give thanks.. always... coz this is the love of Christ in action.. through ur CG..